Thursday, June 30, 2011
The longest weeks of my life
I'm not gonna lie, these last 3 weeks have sucked. Dan has been gone, Kyson won't nurse, and my sweet little Maicee turned into a monster. My days consist of changing poopy diapers, pumping then feeding Kyson, fighting with Maicee, and trying to keep my house somewhat clean. I don't understand why I can't just nurse my babies. While we were in the hospital, Kyson was super sleepy, and they were worried about his weight. They encouraged me to give him a bottle until he "woke up" a little more. I refused, because giving Maicee a bottle is what did me in with her. Well, Kyson lost a lot of weight, when we left the hospital he was at 5 lbs. 13 oz. On Thursday he had a dr.'s appointment, and they were worried about his billirubin levels. So I went home that day, started pumping and then feeding him breast milk from a bottle, and he slowly started to gain weight back. We had 3 dr.'s appointments in a row to measure his billi levels, and luckily he didn't have to do the blanket like Maicee did. I kept thinking, "as soon as his jaundice is gone, he will nurse again". That Sunday, June 12th, Dan left for Texas, where he will stay until July 26th. My sisters came that night, and stayed and helped out for a couple of days. When they left on Wednesday, Maicee turned into the monster. She'll wait until I'm either pumping or trying to get Kyson to nurse, then she's into everything. When I ask her to stop, she tells me no. I tell her to go to time-out, she tells me no. That Thursday Ksyon had another dr.'s appointment, and he was at 6 lbs. 6 oz., so he's slowly gaining his weight back. Everytime I try to nurse him, he falls asleep. I try to wake him up, unsuccessfully. So I pump and then give him a bottle. I really hate pumping. My only salvation is my sister-in-law Tracie when she invites me over to her house for the day. Maicee isn't as beastly at her house. And for some reason, I think it's the air conditioning, Kyson will nurse there. We are counting down the days until Dan gets back (26!). I feel like I have no time to take pictures, sleep, shower, clean, or do anything to make me feel human. I have to fight Maicee over everything. And I can't even enjoy having a newborn. I'm open for suggestions on how to get Maicee to like me again, and how to get Kyson to nurse.
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4 comments:
Jamie I feel your pain, that sounds exactly like what was going on with Mace and the nursing thing. I don't understand it because both of my other 2 kids nursed like champs. I just wasn't producing enough milk for him and he would fall asleep as soon as I'd try to get him to nurse and he lost a lot of weight, at 4 weeks old he still wasn't back up to his birthweight. Formula bottles. End of discussion. That's what's saved us, now he's gained almost 2 lbs in 3 weeks and I'm not stressing about how much I do or don't produce or about pumping. My doctor told me that as long as they were able to get that breastmilk for the first 2 weeks or so then those nutrients will do them a lot of good, and formula nowadays is so fantastic that they're not missing much. If you choose to go that way it will relieve a lot of your stress and if your little Kyson is anything like Mace he'll start packing on the weight!!
Also I agree about the first few weeks really sucking. Some moms really love the newborn stage, and I HATE the newborn stage. Maybe that makes me a bad mom, but it's just really hard. Especially when you're dealing with no sleep, naughty older children, out of control hormones and baby blues/depression. Mace will be 2 months old this Sunday and I'm just barely feeling like I'm getting a handle on things with 3 kids and don't need to cry every day anymore. :)
You can do it. So what if you don't shower for 3 days, don't worry about it. So what if you need to drink Mtn. Dew for breakfast lunch and dinner. Just do whatever you have to do to take care of yourself because if you take care of yourself, then you're better equipped to take care of those 2 little ones. Know that I'm here for you if you need to talk and it's still very fresh in my mind!! (Ok it still IS my mind most days.)
Sorry for the novel. Thinking about you! If you're at the end of your rope just go with the formula, it's so much less stressful and he'll be just fine!
there were a couple of time I had that problem with Parker...I would try other positions and if he would fall asleep then I would make him as uncomfortable as possible. Take off all his clothes, dont put him in a blanket or a blanket over us. Is he still sucking? just sleeping?? because I was find if parker was sleeping or had his eyes closed as long as he was still sucking and swallowing. If he stopped sucking I could pull him away a little bit and he usually would start again, you have to be careful to not pull them off though. I would blow in his face...just anything I could think of to make him stay awake or be uncomfortable. The AC thing is hard. They have a pretty good fan at walmart that is a pretty good price and the air that comes out is actually cold. Its a tall skinny one. It doesnt go in the window or anything, it just plugs in and sits on the floor.
As far as Maicee...I got nothing! I have heard of that from a lot of mom's so I know you are not alone. I hear things like give her 'her own time" with you once a day. Give her a new toy from "kyson" and say that kyson is os happy to be your little brother and part of our family and he cant wait until you can play together and got you a new toy until then because he loves you. I know Parker acts like that whenever I am distracted...on the phone, cleaning, laundry, computer, when ever my attention is on something else, it only took a few times but I stopped what I was doing and put him in time out. After a couple of time he realized that it didnt matter what I was doing, if he didnt listen and stop then he got in big trouble and a time out. That part is hard....im sorry! Im sorry Dan is gone...being the only parent for a while is sooo hard! Hang in there!!!
Sweetie! I am so sorry and feel like a total heal for not spending more time with you. I hope things turn around soon.
I'm sorry! I wish i could help too! :( But i'm at a loss cause my girls didn't do that. There's a silver lining to every black cloud. It'll be ok. :) Try to look for the happy in each day (a quiet moment, a Kyson sigh, good song on the radio, daisy, etc.) . Dan will be home soon to help! You're doing a good job though now momma! We love you!
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