I had high hopes for today; really, I did. As I was going to bed last night, I just knew it was going to be the night that everything changed. I just knew it. I would get up at 7 the next morning, get ready for the day, fold some laundry, take Maicee to story time, and I even planned on doing some blogging. Sadly, I was wrong; very wrong. See, I have a secret, and I was hoping last night it would all change. Here is my secret: I don't sleep at night. I feel lucky if I get an hour of uninterrupted sleep. This has been going on for a while. The beginning of November, if I remember right. My cute little man, with the smile that melts your heart, doesn't sleep either. At least not restfully. He sleeps more than I do. There is something wrong with his tummy, and I just don't know what to do about it. His doctor thinks things are normal, so I switched doctors. The new and improved doctor put him on some new medicine, but it doesn't seem to be helping his tummy either. So we go back to the doctor tomorrow. I feel bad for my little guy. I know it's not his fault he can't sleep; more likely it's something I am eating. But I don't know what else to cut out of my diet.
Here is our nightly ritual:
7:30- kiddos in jammies, teeth are being brushed, scriptures read, prayers said. Kisses goodnight.
7:45- kiddos are either asleep or close to it.
9-9:30- Kyson may or may not wake up. Normally he will just take a bottle and go right back to sleep.
9:45- anxiety kicks in for me. My palms get sweaty, I start visibly shaking, and my stomach burns because I know what is going to happen in the night, and it makes me sick.
10- I start talking myself into going to bed. I keep telling myself, "tonight will be different, you will get some sleep." But I'm always wrong. (Last night I felt none of the anxiety I normally feel, that's why I thought things were going to be different).
10:30- I finally drag myself upstairs to bed.
10:50- I lay wide awake in bed even if I'm exhausted because I know in half an hour I will just have to get up again.
11:30-12:30- Kyson wakes up. Sometimes he wants to eat, sometimes not. So I just sit and stare at him and hope he can get comfortable. Sometimes he lets out these horrible smelling farts, then falls right to sleep. Most nights he just grunts and falls in and out of consciousness.
12:45- I get back in bed and try not to think, just fall asleep. If I'm lucky, I get 10 minutes. Sometimes, but rarely, 30 minutes.
1:15- Kyson is up again. Sometimes he wants to eat, sometimes not. Repeat everything from 11:30-12:30.
2:00- I'm back in bed, repeat 12:45.
2:30- Kyson is up again. Repeat.
3:00- I get back in bed, repeat.
3:30- Maicee is awake because brother is awake. I get to sit and rock her and sing to her and hopefully she will climb back in bed quietly without waking Kyson. If Kyson doesn't wake up, I get to go to bed at 4. If Kyson does wake up, then I'm already awake.
4:30- Drag myself back to bed, pray that both kids stay asleep for just an hour.
5:00- Kyson up. Repeat.
5:30- Maicee up. By this time I'm begging both kids will go to sleep. If I haven't had a break down yet, I do now. I cry and plead for just one hour of sleep.
6:00- I get back in bed whether both kids are asleep or not. I turn off the monitor so I don't have to listen to them.
6:15- I feel guilty about turning off the monitor, turn it back on, and listen to the kids. Still no sleep.
7-7:30 Dan gets up and starts getting ready for school. If I'm super lucky, he'll give Kyson a bottle and take Maicee downstairs so I can try to get some sleep.
8:00-8:30- Kyson is up for the day. I pull a pillow over my head to sleep for a little while longer.
9:00- If I'm not out of bed yet, I have to get up.
Normally the hour or so I get in the morning is the only sleep I get. Over Thanksgiving break, Dan got up with Kyson one night, and I slept like there was no tomorrow. I felt so good the next day. Over Christmas break, we were both behind on sleep, so we took turns getting up with them at night. Now that break is over, I can't ask Dan to get up with them; he's already got too much on his plate.
I feel bad for my baby. I know he is hurting and uncomfortable, but I don't know what to do about it. At first, gripe water and gas drops helped a lot. Now they do nothing for him. I'm tempted to give up nursing, but formula seems to upset his belly, also. If he drinks milk based formula, he vomits it all up. We have him on soy based formula now, and that seems to help. He gets about 1 formula bottle a day. He also naps well during the day. He naps twice a day for 2 hours. I thought maybe switching him to his crib would help him sleep at night. His crib is in Maicee's room, so I was hesitant to make the switch. We did it over Christmas break. That hasn't helped either.
I am ashamed to be typing this. Kyson was my good sleeper. He would only wake up once a night. Then he would grunt and move around and be uncomfortable the rest of the night, but he would sleep. I'm worried about his health; it can't be good for a baby to get that little sleep. I'm worried for Maicee's health. She won't take naps anymore and I'm afraid her brother keeps her up half the night. And I feel bad because when I don't get sleep, I get grouchy. And Maicee gets the worst of it.
I don't know what else to do. If the doctor doesn't try something new tomorrow, I think I might have a nervous breakdown.
Anyway, if you see me and I seem out of it, or perhaps even a little drunk, I'm not. Just super duper tired.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
7 comments:
I did not have it the least bit as bad as you, but Kenya use to only sleep for like 20 minutes at a time during the day but she was my first and I had the ability to hold her while she slept. Her problem was gas too.
If he is allergic to milk you could try taking that out of your diet. My other suggestion is gluten. I had a friend whose boy has celiac disease or gluten intolerance. She could not even nurse him because it got into her milk. Just some suggestions to maybe talk to your dr about. I will keep you in my prayers!
That sounds awful! I can relate because last night I got about 1 hour (maybe) of sleep due to a sick baby, but by 3:00 all my sympathy for him had flown out the window and I just put him down on the floor by my bed and threw a blanket on him while shrieking to "just sleep". Surprisingly, he did, for about 10 minutes. It's horrible, and I'm pretty grouchy today too. I hope the dr. can help you, because no sleep=no sanity.
I'm so sorry Jamie, having colicky babies is the worst! Plus I hate how no sleep makes us grouchy moms and then I feel guilty all day long because I'm snappy with Meg and Parker!
When Meg was so miserable and cried every minute of her life as a baby we finally put her on that Nutramigen formula (it's dang expensive) but it was the only thing that helped. So maybe your doctor could recommend a different formula than what you've tried also.
I'm sorry and I wish I lived closer so I could help you out!
Hi Jamie. I am so sorry! That sounds awful! I wish I was closer to help you! Parker had something similar but not as bad. I focused on burping him really good...sometimes it would take an hour or more. If I didnt get the burps out then came the really bad gas and really bad fussy time all throughout the night. We also put a book under the front of the bed to he was lay at a slat with his head above his feel. (if that makes since). Sometimes we would just let him sleep in his swing, which was propped up and soothing. (it saved our lives and was worth every penny). And lots of tummy time after he ate, not right after but shortly after...which seems to help push the gas out. Then around 9 months he grew out of it. Yours sounds a little different though. That sounds no fun. I hope you get some answers and some sleep!!!
of course it doesnt make sense because I cant write!! haha We would put the book under the front of his crib so he was laying at a slant with his head about his feet.
Oh you poor dear!!! I wish I knew some good advice to help you. I hope that the Dr. figures things out and while you are in there ask if he can do something for you or at least make a suggestion. :( Hang in there. :(
That stinks!!! Here is the thing me just being crazy- what if the doctors are overlooking something? One of the women I visit teach has a baby that had been having a lot of intestinal problems. After quite awhile they did an ultrasound and found a tennis ball sized cyst on her intestines. Immediately she was back to her happy-go-lucky self. I know that might not be it, but what's the harm in having them look?
Post a Comment